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  • r.m. allen
  • May 5
  • 3 min read

You woke me up, not the siren, though I’m sure that with a few more seconds I would have been upright in bed right alongside you. “We need to get down to the basement.”


There is a certain hubris one develops as a (nearly) lifelong resident of the Midwest: there won’t be a tornado, but on the off chance there is, it wouldn’t dare come here. But, when that Wisconsin fool marries a Californian transplant, she at least has to play along when those tornado sirens go off, even when it happens at midnight. I put on my robe and my slippers and dutifully tromped down to the basement.


Oh, the laundry basket’s full. May as well sort it.


I pulled clothes and towels and dishcloths from the overflowing basket beneath the laundry chute, heaping them into piles at my feet. Beyond the thick walls of our basement I could still vaguely hear the shrieking that had called us out of our cozy bed. Is this a watch or a warning? I can never remember which is which.


At least one of the two dogs had followed me already; the other one came down the stairs with you. You brought our pillows and blankets too, and as I stood over my laundry piles I felt I had been rather foolish, coming down completely unprepared. But you didn’t demand I explain what I’m doing or tell me off for doing it. You spread out the blankets on the concrete floor of our basement bathroom so I could nestle onto my pillow with the dogs, as warm and cozy as one can be when lying beside a toilet during a tornado warning. While you watched the radar, I dozed off. In half an hour, you were waking me up again, letting me know it was safe to go back upstairs.


There was nothing you could have done if the tornado had come. The house would have splintered above us, the walls crumbled around us, the rains poured down over top of us. It all would have been over in an instant. Yet I suppose I had felt safe all along. You were there, there when I fell asleep and there still when I woke up. What, exactly, would I do without you?

Here's what I read, cooked, and created in the month of April.


What I Read

  • Five to Thrive: How to Determine If Your Core Needs Are Being Met, Kathy Koch (★★★★)

  • Scotland: The Story of a Nation, Magnus Magnusson (★★★★)

  • The Art of Clear Thinking: A Stealth Fighter Pilot's Timeless Rules for Making Tough Decisions, Hasard Lee (★★★★)

  • Peace Like a River, Leif Enger (★★★★)


If you want to hear the rationale behind my rating, head to my Goodreads for full reviews.


What I Cooked

I overbaked these a tad, so they were a little dry in the middle, but an easy and reliable dinner roll recipe that I will reach for again.


I brought this over to my best friend, who is currently postpartum, and it was a winner by all accounts. I did use additional ranch seasoning beyond what the recipe called for.


Turns out roasted radishes are not good.


I had made the pumpkin version of this coffee cake, so I knew this was going to be a project going in, and indeed it was. But, when I brought this to a family get-together, my 4-year-old nephew, who loves both coffee cake and carrot cake, was thrilled beyond words about the dessert situation, and that made it all worth it.


What I Created

  • Original blackout poem "Crucify Him"

  • More grad-school essay revisions

May your days be filled with beauty, and may your heart be filled with the willingness to see and give thanks for it.

 
 
 
  • r.m. allen
  • Apr 9
  • 3 min read
Photo by Mitchell Allen
Photo by Mitchell Allen

There’s no snow in San Francisco; instead, the city is awash in fog, a thick gray that settles in the valleys and creeps over the beaches like a second tide. My first time in the city, my then-boyfriend, now-husband bought a fog globe for his small-town sweetheart from the Midwest, and it still sits on my bookshelf all these years later. The gray glitter swirls around a miniature Golden Gate Bridge, mimicking the fog that so often veils the magnificent orange towers rising out of the bay. As we dig ourselves out of the foot of snow that arrives in Wisconsin the week before our San Francisco spring break, I would happily take anything above freezing, fog and all.


But there’s no fog when we touch down Saturday night and greet my in-laws outside the airport, and none when the morning dawns. That afternoon, downtown seems clearer and warmer than my college visits in June. At the wharf we gobble mini-donuts glittering with cinnamon sugar, and we laugh as sea lions shove and bellow on the docks. The ferris wheel at the pier is new since our last trip three years earlier, and when we ride our stomachs swoop and dive with every circuit. The cityscape spreads out like a postcard, every landmark gleaming in the afternoon sun.


Our fastidiously-drawn itinerary, sketched on printer paper at our dining table, takes us up and down the bay, from the evening lights of the Bay Bridge over the Embarcadero to the shops of Sausalito to Pacifica where the neighborhoods bump up against the beaches. One day we rent one of the little yellow Go-Cars we weren’t old enough to drive when I came out in 2016, and we zip up and down the hilly streets to catch some landmarks we’ve never seen and some we’ve always loved. We come home in a Waymo with our cheeks pink from the sun. All week San Francisco seems as golden as its state moniker.


At dinner midway through the week, we book a table for 7 PM. Even though I forgot to call and ask for a view of the sunset, I’m sure they’ve given the four of us the best seat in the place to watch its slow-motion dive into the crashing ocean. Again, the evening is fogless. As I sip my mocktail and crack my crab legs, I know this night will file itself in my memory beside dinner at the Cliff House with my husband all those years ago, when we were still dreaming of this life and husband and wife.


It’s barely above freezing when we get back home (a true Wisconsin spring). But when I cup my fog globe in my hand and swivel my wrist like Mitchell taught me, those sparkles swirl up from its depths, happy as confetti. Until they settle, all seems golden again in the rare gleam of a San Francisco sun.

Here's what I read, cooked, and created in the month of March.


What I Read

  • Isola, Allegra Goodman (★★★★★)

  • The Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury (★★★★)

  • Ghostlight, Kenneth Oppel (★★★)

  • The 6 Types of Working Genius, Patrick Lencioni (★★★)

  • The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain (★★★)

  • What the Night Sings, Vesper Stamper (★★★)


If you want to hear the rationale behind my rating, head to my Goodreads for full reviews.


What I Cooked

I don't think I tried anything new this month that wasn't in a cookbook.


What I Created

  • A few pages of my project

  • Some revisions on a 6-year-old essay from grad school

May your days be filled with beauty, and may your heart be filled with the willingness to see and give thanks for it.

 
 
 
  • r.m. allen
  • Mar 7
  • 2 min read
Photo by Mitchell Allen
Photo by Mitchell Allen

1.

All the moms in Dane

crowd the lot with Subarus.

Now where do we park?


2.

No giraffes, no seals—

under construction now, but

we’ll catch them next time.


3.

You’re a bird watcher;

I’m a bird watcher-watcher,

wondering when we leave.


4.

In a cluster of

goats, be the weird little one

meandering off.


5.

Silly polar bear

hops out of the pool, shaking

like a pup post-bath.


6.

Wisconsin winter,

but it’s fifty-five degrees.

Can we get ice cream?

Here's what I read, cooked, and created in the month of February.


What I Read

  • Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee, Casey Cep (★★★★★)

  • James, Percival Everett (★★★★)

  • The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith, Tim Keller (★★★★)

  • Everything Is Tuberculosis: The History and Persistence of Our Deadliest Infection, John Green (★★★★)

  • Wild Reverence, Rebecca Ross (★★★)


If you want to hear the rationale behind my rating, head to my Goodreads for full reviews.


What I Cooked

This dip kept me company during the catastrophically boring Super Bowl. While it is no buffalo chicken dip, it reminded me of my favorite red pepper pasta, and even my red pepper-hating husband thought it was tasty.


I just don't get tired of olive oil cakes. This one was so different and so delicious. I used Craisins in lieu of chocolate and liked it so well that I'm making it again this weekend.


I think I may have found my perfect queso recipe.


I love an indulgent Valentine's Day dessert, and after my best friend served me the Ina Garten brownie puddings at besties' book club last year, I knew I had to make them for myself. A half recipe made 4 Le Creuset cocottes. Be aware that these are tremendously rich, so a little scoop of mint ice cream to cool them down is a must.


What I Created

  • The other part of an essay on envy for Commonplace magazine, where you'll find my writing all throughout 2026

  • A few lines of a new poem

May your days be filled with beauty, and may your heart be filled with the willingness to see and give thanks for it.

 
 
 

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