Monthly Review: April 2025
- r.m. allen
- May 4
- 4 min read
I’ve always known your eyes: they are my brother’s, crystalline blue and fringed with those long, heavy lashes only boys are blessed with. When you were born we wondered when the newborn blue would fade, but three years later your eyes are still as bold and brilliant as an ocean icing over.
Everything else, though, has changed—I scrolled through pictures of you as a two-week old, a two-month old, even a brand-new two-year old, and in each you seem like a separate being from the person beside me now, snacking on popcorn and earnestly watching Winnie the Pooh (I loved him too when I was your age). This last year has brought your baby sister, whom you seem far more enthused about than your dad was about me when I came along, and your baby cousin, whose name I hope you never learn to pronounce properly. At three, you are quite clearly your own person, though I suppose you always were and we had yet to find out what kind of person that would be.
Your arrival in the family meant I had to figure out who Aunt Rachel was, too. I tried to fix dinner whenever I came to visit in the first few months of your life, and each time I got a little better at holding a baby (your steadily decreasing floppiness helped). Once you started talking, you learned more quickly than I expected how to say my name, and you figured out that Uncle Mitch belongs with me. You are confused whenever I come through the door without him in tow. On rare occasions, you have let me read you books, but you are usually happy for me to build you Magna-tile castles, if only so you can topple them. You enjoy a good cookie, and I enjoy bringing them for you. Neither of my parents have sisters, just one brother for my mom, and whenever I sit down beside you I wonder what memories you are making with your Aunt Rachel that you will keep forever. I wonder whether you will care what I remember from these days.
We are piled onto a couch in the dim basement—two of my three brothers, my husband, my sisters-in-law, the three next-generation Mayeses, and I think about how we, living 900 miles from our only first cousins, never had this growing up, but our families will. My brothers are here. My nieces are here. You’re here, my little nephew who is getting bigger every time I see you. I can see my life as it was and my life as it someday will be overlaid atop my life right now. Somehow I feel both like I am ten again and like I am fifty, like I am peeking ahead to the next chapter. I want to make sure it’s a happy one.
Here's what I read, cooked, and created in the month of April.
What I Read
C.S. Lewis: A Life, Alister E. McGrath (★★★★)
A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy, Tia Levings (★★★★)
Every Riven Thing: Poems, Christian Wiman (★★★)
The One and Only Ruby, Katherine Applegate (★★★)
The One and Only Family, Katherine Applegate (★★★★)
Beth and Amy, Virginia Kantra (★★★)
If you want to hear the rationale behind my rating, head to my Goodreads for full reviews.
What I Cooked
Difficulty: ★★
Flavor: ★★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: I am already looking forward to the next time I get to make these. I did not have fresh herbs, and I subbed a mix of peperoncini and pickled jalapeños for the pickles, but my goodness, these are some of the tastiest sandwiches I’ve had in a long time. In the future, I think I might sub arugula for the spinach and put it on after baking the sandwiches rather than during, but otherwise, no notes.
Difficulty: ★★
Flavor: ★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: Just a nice, simple spring soup.
Difficulty: ★★
Flavor: ★★★
Keeper: No
Comments: I need to stop making carrot soups. I always think I’m going to like them more than I actually do.
Difficulty: ★★
Flavor: ★★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: I think I can see myself becoming a mocktail girl after making these. I did use flavored sparkling water (blackberry, to be precise), and even though the recipe doesn’t specify straining out the mint, blackberry, and lime pieces, that would probably be preferable for most people.
Difficulty: ★
Flavor: ★★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: I've never made a veggie/chip dip with cream cheese, but it was delicious.
Difficulty: ★★★
Flavor: ★★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: I made these twice, mostly because I cut the potatoes too small and overboiled them the first time around and I needed redemption. While fiddly, they are quite tasty for a special occasion.
Difficulty: ★★
Flavor: ★★★★
Keeper: Yes
Comments: I’m not sure why the recipe has you add the nuts and sugar to the skillet simultaneously. I think the sugar needed more time to melt before caramelizing the nuts, and I’m unsure whether both the sugared almonds and the pistachios were necessary, but this was a nice, springy salad.
What I Created
Original sonnet "Alive Forevermore"
May your days be filled with beauty, and may your heart be filled with the willingness to see and give thanks for it.
Comments