In the summer heat of my childhood, I found myself longing for January. Whenever I was outside on hot days, I would think back to the chill of winter and wish for a snowball or an icicle to cool me down. At the time, the cold had seemed almost unbearable, but once it gave way to heat, I dreamed again of those frigid winter months, ruing my failure to appreciate the cold when I had it.
As the first half of 2020 finally comes to a close, I keep thinking back to my former self, who would have loved to trade the misery of the moment for that of the past. I think about how rough things felt in February compared to now and wish I could exchange the problems I perceived then (e.g. my parents moving, me trying to figure out what to do with my life) for the ones I'm seeing now, which are actual issues that affect more people than just me. Personally, I'm doing pretty well; we moved into our new apartment, I'm two classes closer to finishing my master's, and I accepted a new teaching job for the fall (!!!), but it feels like the world beyond me is literally on fire, and it just keeps getting hotter. It's almost comedic how many things have gone wrong at this point.
We don't know what the second half of the year holds, or even what tomorrow may bring. Truthfully, we have never really known the answers to those questions, and 2020 is shattering that collective delusion for many of us.
I came across this post from one of my favorite Christian thinkers today and was reminded again of the unshakeable hope that can be ours amidst chaos. Hope does not come from looking forward to something or making that plan a reality, but from knowing God and seeing His goodness in both the planned and unplanned moments of our lives.
Through the craziness of the month of June, I did make some time for the reading, writing, and cooking that help me destress. Here's a look at what I did.
What I Read
Cherish, Gary Thomas (★★★★★)
Coaching Writing in Content Areas, William Strong (★★★★)
Turns out working 30 hours a week, taking six grad credits, and moving makes it difficult to find time to read, much less make it to the library to restock on books. If you want to hear the rationale behind my rating, head to my Goodreads for full reviews.
What I Cooked
I'm not much of a summer girl, but I do love the abundance of fresh vegetables this time of year, and this salad is a great way to use up some of the fresh cucumbers and tomatoes you may be harvesting. It does not get easier than this.
Because our book club read a book about Jane Austen for our final meeting of the year, I thought it would be appropriate to bring something with an English feel. This recipe was a bit of a gamble, but I love Earl Grey tea too much to not take the risk that other people might not like it as well. Happily, it paid off. The cake had a deliciously subtle flavor, almost like a London Fog latte. Multiple ladies asked for the recipe, so I think it was a success.
I don't feel guilty when making normal Alfredo sauce, but I do feel guilty throwing out half-full containers of hummus that have been forgotten in my fridge for months on end, so I decided to preemptively use it up with this recipe. I was worried the pasta would taste like straight hummus (which would definitely not have gone over well with my husband), but it actually tasted a lot more like lemon. If I were to make it again, I would omit the lemon juice and use only lemon zest, and I would add garlic for more flavor (because even though I did use garlic hummus instead of plain, the flavor didn't really come through). As a half recipe, this was enough for a full meal as well as 2 or 3 servings of leftovers for us, although I didn't think it reheated terribly well.
To celebrate our first full week at the apartment (and to use up some of the blueberries and yogurt my sweet father-in-law got for us on a post-move run to Costco), I decided I wanted a good loaf of lemon blueberry bread. Unfortunately, this was not it. The final product tasted all right, but it was like eating rubber. Hard pass.
My sister-in-law made this with quinoa for our Memorial Day family get-together last month, and it was so delicious that I made it the next week. (My mouth is watering just thinking about it.) It's hearty enough to be a main dish, although it works well as a side, too. Although I do think the honey could be lessened or perhaps omitted entirely from the dressing, other than that, it's summer perfection.
What I Created
Unpublished original poem "I Am"
Article "Moving On"
Article "A Tribute to Mrs. Traci Mayes," written in honor of my mother
"Wait a Minute, Mr. Postmodern" interview for my soon-to-be sister-in-law's podcast "For the Love of Humanities" (because postmodernism makes a way better topic of discussion than it does a way of understanding the world––go give it a listen!)
The second half of 2020 is now upon us, and none of us really knows whether it'll be better or worse. Whatever comes, my hope is that I will stay grounded in the only true Hope there is––not a social system, not a political figure, not a statistic, but God's promise of His good presence.