The morning of my wedding, I woke up with one thought in my mind: I'm getting married today. After a lifetime of dreaming, three and a half years of dating Mitchell, and six years of crafting the perfect wedding aesthetic on Pinterest, it was actually happening.
As far as weddings go, I thought just about everything about my wedding day was in fact perfect. From the moment I stepped into my dress to the sparkler sendoff at the reception, the day was a gorgeous melange of all my favorite things. But all too quickly, it was over, and our first year of marriage had begun.
The general consensus regarding the first year of marriage seems to be that it's either the most transcendent experience known to mankind or an actual flaming pile of garbage. Unsure which end of the spectrum to plant my expectations on, I tentatively set them somewhere in the middle: our first year of marriage would be fine. Probably.
The best advice we received regarding our first year came in a note from my sister-in-law: "Marriage is what you make it." Our experience was not contingent on the challenges faced by any other married couple we knew, be they relatives, friends, or strangers on the Internet who believed a few months of marriage qualified them to dispense relationship advice. Rather, our experience was unique to us, borne of the history we had built in our years together, the heritage of our respective families, the circumstances we found ourselves in, and the juxtaposition of our individual quirks, perspectives, and selves.
And now as I reflect on these 365 days we have spent as man and wife, I see great beauty in what we have made thus far of our marriage. We have used an odd assortment of building materials, but they seem to be holding together well: small everyday sacrifices, welcome-home kisses, cheese and crackers, life chats around the kitchen table long after the conclusion of our meal, pizza Fridays, notes tucked in lunchboxes or stuck to the bathroom mirror, praying together before bed, napping at inordinate times of the day, setting up a household, crying (me), trying to offer comfort (Mitchell), meal planning (me), sneaking snacks into the checkout while grocery shopping (Mitchell), snuggles for warmth in the chill of the bitterest Midwest winter on record, Netflix binges, road trips, jam sessions while doing dishes, new recipes, sleepy mornings, laughter--so much laughter, learning, communication, forgiveness, growth, joy--such great joy to simply be together.
When in the years to come I look back on this first year as newlyweds, I hope to remember it by that one simple word: joy. It is a joy to be Mitchell's wife. It is a joy to walk through life at his side. It is a joy to love and be loved in return. As the journey proceeds, I pray we may continue to find much joy together.
